I find my soul always felt healthier when I expressed myself in writing. Haven’t done this in years, but today I feel motivated. I have a very long story to share that ends happy…so I never want to forget it.
I’ve been awake since quite early with pain but feeling so incredibly blessed. I am finally home after being hospitalized since Saturday AM with excruciating flank pain. I usually have an extremely high tolerance for pain, but this just knocked me down. Someone who never takes even Tylenol for a headache was suddenly taking morphine, feeling like a crackhead when it wasn’t enough. Turned out to be a stuck 6mm kidney stone, in addition to other hurtful complications that I’m not ready to talk about with the world. Long story short, complications solved by yesterday morning…& I had surgery to remove the stone, & a stent placed in that will be removed next week. My hospital stay was good, considering. I had my own room, I knew a few staff members from childhood (especially an amazing urologist) and the place was very clean. The food sucked (but I probably lost some weight), it got hotter than the friggen Sahara at one point and some of the nurses were incredibly nice while others might really hate people. I met some nice transport people while one left me at a test and failed to pick me back up…so after 40 minutes, I walked back to my room (apparently a big no no, I’m a rebel I guess)…but hey…for a hospital in Brooklyn, all in all I can’t complain. I came home and I’m going to live. Plus, I made an elevator full of people laugh as I laid on my gurney on the way to surgery as I noted how weird it is to be horizontal in an elevator.
Anyway, the surgery yesterday left me in so much pain. I don’t know what I would have done if my husband wasn’t with me before surgery for days and after in recovery. Mike was my rock. He helped me so much! Technically he was my only visitor (besides my childhood friends who work in the hospital). I’m so blessed to have this man be mine! (Yes babe, you can point to this blog as proof the next time we argue lol). After a few hours, and lots of pain meds, I was finally released.
When I came home last night from the hospital, my coonhound- mix, Bailey was so excited to see me. He somehow knew my pain and didn’t jump up on me like he normally does but just leaned against me so I could hug him. He gave me kisses, with the cutest a look on his face! He was smiling!!🐶 I showered, got dressed then hugged Bailey a lot while Mike picked up my almost 11 month old daughter, Juliana, from my mom’s. Being away from her for the first time in her life was the hardest part of the whole ordeal, so I couldn’t wait to see her. She was mainly with my mother the past few days so Mike could be with me.
She was 1/2 asleep when she came in (it was already midnight). Mike took her out of the stroller, and I helped him start to take off her jacket. Her eyes were closed. Mike then said “Mama’s here”…she turned to look while I finally got her coat off. 👶🏻 OMG her face when she saw me! Her mouth fell open, paci fell out and her eyes got so big! 😳 She smiled huge, hugged me so tight and laughed….then looked at me so seriously…straight in the eyes…and we both cried softly immediately and just held each other for awhile, while I told her how much I love her. Then we went back to laughing. 😅 She checked my face and arms…I checked her too and noticed how much she changed in 4 loooooong days (even though we did FaceTime). She saw my normal bracelets were replaced with hospital bracelets and looked upset. Mike ran to get scissors and my everyday jewelry I usually never take off (heart bracelet from my dad and multi color band in rememberance of Michelle Bonnice, as well as necklace from Mike and rings). Juliana checked that they were back in place and was happy. She held on to my heart bracelet and put her head into my chest.
I swear, no matter what else I get to accomplish in this life, being a mother is the greatest, most rewarding, most fulfilling thing I’ll ever do. My reason for striving to be a better person each day. It has not been an easy road for me this year (since July at least) but it’s still MY journey and I wouldn’t change any choices I’ve made. Just have to continue to try my best every day to keep my head up high. And remember, it could always be worse. And with the “world’s greatest” husband (I need to write it on a solo cup 😂), an amazing mom, the bestest baby and doggy…plus the bestest family and friends at my side…I’ll always be okay. 💖
Thanks for reading if you made it this far.
jesmogrego 